I just need to put this somewhere and I dont know if anyone else can relate. Do you remember when you first found out you were trans, like there was a word for it, there was a treatment nad things could get better? After a whil tthat initial happiness that I’m not alone and things can get better changed, it turned into a fear, almsot a pnic.

The best way I can describe it is this: When you have flue-like-symptoms and at first you’re like “Well its not alright but it’ll pass, and it’ll be fine” but when you found out that you have like the flu or somethign serious it becomes..panicy like, “Omg I need medicine NOW” like if you dont do this right now you will die sort of feeling.

And I guess I’m..dissapointed that this isn’t something that will pass I am going to have to deal with being trans the resto f my life instead of it being like a “little cold” that goes away, I’m stuck with it. To me, the closest feeling is like..heartbreak, idk, I’m very bad with wording, and I just needed to put this out there somehwere.

Basically knowing I’m going to be stuck with this ocndition the rest of my life..depresses me almost, and maybe not knowing that I was trans would be better then knowing I am..but either way I’m stuck with it and will have to get over it.


Binder help?

I’m looking for binder suggestions, I have a tritop and the….9..977? whatever that one thats relaly long and rolls up a lot? xD They work good and I like them, I’m just looking for something thats more..easeier to use due to shoulder issues I’ve had it makes it hard to put them on.

I tried a type of binder, and, well basically I was too tall for it, it was buidl for very short very thin people, I..am 6’1 and not the thinnest individual out there, I know people have linked me to a few before I just cant remember what they were, and if you own one, I’d love to heary our review of it.

Mostly I’m looking for something just that clips from the side, I know some velcro but I feel like that would make it..lumpy? If not please correct me.


I have 3 BRAND NEW XL Sohoeva binders for sale, 10 bucks a piece. or all 3 for 30 dollars.

They are the buckle ones, I can provide pics if needed. The only reason I’m selling them is because I got the wrong size and they ended up being too short. I have 2 black and 1 white.

Send me an ask if you’re interested.


Sohoeva binder problems??

wait what does weight have to do with chest size…this is just like..its not even a full binder its like the tritop.

i’m fucking 6’1..and what if you were really short and lighter and it didn’t fit your chest size?? why would my chest size have to do with the weight anyways??

Has anyone ever really dealt with these binders before..

please tell me how to decode this. Like I REALLY love the style, but my weight and chestsize and all that just..what.

Its 4 am. I really am I missing something?


Okay, I’m having a horrible debate with myself right now, and some advice would be nice.

I am having severe stomach and gallbladder problems, my doctor has told me that binding  will put pressure on the areas that are already swollen and inflamed and stuff and that could cause more issues.

It’s been really hard, but I’ve been trying not to bind, though its been horrible, but this month I’m getting surgery and it would be over and I can bind again, but today I have to go out and have a meeting at my new school with the admissions person.

If I bind would it be /that/ bad since I haven’t been binding? Or maybe if I just bind while I’m out it would be okay. Like..I don’t want to injure myself more and cause more issues for surgery but I really don’t want to go to the meeting without binding, I don’t think I honestly could..but rescheduling isn’t an option and this meeting is really important.

edit: i will be gone for likee 6-8 hours at most though, just to give everyone a time frame.



I haven’t posted anything transition related in a while but..

If a person has a condition that causes a flattening in the face and the lower jaw to be smaller the usual would that cause them if they were transitioning to have a lack of well..change in their face while taking T?

I have such a condition and I’m worried that there won’t be any real difference once I take T, and well my doctors are clueless so opinions?


The MTV True life thing on being trans is on if anyone has been wanting to see it. 


Ohio Compounding Pharmacy Fall Out from New England Compounding Center


This could be very bad news, even for people outside of Ohio, as I have heard this pharmacy recommended on multiple internet forums. So a lot of people might be looking for a new source.

And this comes at exactly the time that I’m beginning to suspect that I might have a slight allergy to the normal cottonseed oil version…fuck. Hope it’s something else that I’m allergic to.

The full text of the email I just got:

Ohio Compounding Pharmacy Fall Out from New England Compounding Center — How This Effects Trans Ohioians!

Over the last month, I’ve closely watched how the serious compounding issues at the New England Compounding Center could seriously effect the Ohio Trans community’s  access to compounded products here in Ohio. 

This week, the State of Ohio Pharmacy Board asked that Avella (formally known as The Apothecary Shop), cease compounding Testosterone Cypionate.  This means that Avella will no longer be able to fill compounded Testosterone Cypionate prescriptions.  If you have a documented allergy to the brand name of the Testosterone product, speak to your prescribing physician about how you can still get your compounded Testosterone prescription filled.

It is up to each State Pharmacy Board to address, or not address which products a Compounding pharmacy can compound or not compound.  While as of today, Ohio is the only Board to ask a pharmacy to stop compounding a specific drug, it could continue to change state-by-state as fall out continues from New England

While this is unfortunate for as a community, there still are options for getting a compounded form of Testosterone Cypionate.  I spoke with Strohecker’s Pharmacy in Portland, Oregon and they have not had the same directive from their State Pharmacy Board, and are currently compounding 

Testosterone Cypionate 200mg/ml in a special sesame oil base. The cost is:  $52.95 - 10ml vial plus $7.00 for shipping.

Strohecker’s Pharmacy

2855-A S.W. Patton Road

Portland OR, 97201

Tel: (503) 222-4822 

Fax: (503) 222-4868

Current Testosterone prescriptions can be transferred to Strohecker’s. Call your prescribing doctor, and provide Strohecker’s contact information. You can also have your prescribing doctor FAX your script to Strohecker’s. Or, you can ask Strohecker’s to call Avella and have your RX transferred that way.

However (and wherever) you decide to move forward with your hormone therapy treatment, please be safe and wise about hormone use.

In community,

Shane Morgan


 Educate. Adovate. Support. Community.



Its suprising, my aunt who wasn’t all that accepting (Or maybe she was and just felt left out) after I allowed her and my uncle (They raised me) to pick a name for me it seems better, it’s only been a day but she put a Christmas card on the tree, well thats just something we do we just put all our cards on the tree, but she put on up there and told me to look at it and the envelope had “Birthname/Shawn”

Well, its an improvement, I’m surprised she wrote Shawn at all but she did, now to see if this lasts. 


Name stuff.

Seeing that my family was not calling me by my preferred name (not because they didn’t want to but it was too hard for them to remember, it was Sebastian Nicholas ____) I asked my aunt and uncle who raised me to pick a name that they would name their son. There were a few options, Reymond, John, William, Lawrence, and Asberry, I refuse the name Asberry though, I love my grandfather to death but..no.

My aunt finally said that she liked the name Shawn, Shawn Allen _____. 

So yes my name is Shawn now. I’m hoping this is the right step into acepptence and now they can’t use the excuse of not being able to pronounce it.

A name is not important to me, the acceptance is, everyone in my family is trying and I’m really happy about that, but I hope this helps more